Every year Christmas seems to get more complicated. Maybe I've just been protected from it all these years, or unaware of holiday politics as I was so busy with other things like travelling or seeing old friends or whatever it was.

But I'm beginning to catch on.

What am I learning? Well, as my family grows, and people are living farther and farther from each other, Christmas is no longer all at once. Or all in one place. In fact, this year, I have five family Christmas dinners spread out during the last two weeks of December. See what I mean? Complicated.

Here are just a few of my questions: How do I make it to all of them? How do I prepare all the delegated desserts and salads? When will I shop for all the gifts I need? How do I add to each celebration in a meaningful way? How can I afford it?

The more I think about the holiday season, the more I'm realizing my preconceptions and expectations of what Christmas should be are the main cause of my stress. In a way, I'm the one making things complicated. I talk about this realization in December's LifeTrac article Unwrapping Myself at Christmas.

What I'm starting to grasp is although I want Christmas to happen one way it might not work out. And that's OK. As well, with so many events, it might be a bit of juggling to make it all happen. And I might have to decline some invitations. That's OK too. And as for the food and gifts…well, if I'm organized and don't expect things to go perfectly…well things might be just fine.

And if things aren't fine? Well, I'm learning that's OK too. It helps to think about why we're all striving to meet up. We are celebrating Christ's birth—“Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord,” (Luke 2:11 NIV). When I remember why I'm doing these things it makes all the “stuff,” all my questions, far less important…and people I'm trying to see and celebrate with all the more so.

So this year, my goal is to alter my expectations. I don't want to be so distracted by how I think Christmas should be that I lose focus on what it's all about…and why we bother in the first place.